Grace in the Face of Disagreement

sermon by Pastor David Layman

March 12, 2006

John 4: 4-29

Our 6th session on Whats So Amazing About Grace? deals with perhaps
the most challenging subject of all: How does grace relate to those we
have strong disagreements with? Philip Yancey tells of his friendship
with Mel White, formerly a consultant for Christian films. Mel had been
a pastor of the conservative Evangelical Covenant Church, and taught at
Fuller Seminary. It was a total shock to Philip when Mel told him he was
homosexual. Yancey makes clear that his understanding of the Bible is
that homosexual behavior is not approved by God. But he raises the
question: How does the grace of God apply to those with whom we have
strong disagreements?

Let me give a disclaimer to start out with. My task as a proclaimer of
the word of God is to discern from the scriptures what Gods will for us
is, and to share that. At the same time, I have to confess that I fall
short living out the example of Christ in my own life. Im an earthen
vessel, and you have every right to say to me Practice what you preach.

How would Jesus have us relate to those we hold strong disagreements
with? The common human approach is to spend as little time with those we
disagree with as possible! But Jesus made it a point to make contact
with those he disagreed with. Jesus journeyed through Samaria, while
most Jews took the long route which avoided it. Jesus sat down at a well
and began a conversation with a Samaritan woman, who came to the well
about noon. Respectable people avoided coming to a well at noon, when it
was very hot. This woman came to the well at such an hour, because she
wasnt respectable and wanted to avoid those good folk who would shun
her. Shed had 5 husbands and was currently living with a 6th man. Even
before Hollywood, there were people that lived this way! When the
disciples returned from their trip to buy food, they were amazed to see
Jesus talking with a Samaritan woman of low repute. Rabbis just didnt
do things like that!

We commonly avoid spending time with those we hold significant
differences with. Perhaps they make us uncomfortable. Perhaps we fear
that if we hang out with those who hold different beliefs or life
styles, we will become like them! Thats an understandable fear! Peer
pressure tends to make people malleable to the opinions and viewpoints
of those about them.

Jesus was not a person that was molded and shaped by his surrounding
culture. Jesus had differences with Sadducees, Pharisees, the common
people, Samaritans, Romans, the Zealots. Jesus identity was formed by
God. The gospel of John introduces Jesus by proclaiming him to be the
Word of God. Strong in his own identity, Jesus could fellowship with
all kinds of people, including a sinful Samaritan woman at a well. When
Jesus concluded the encounter related in John 4, Jesus did not say You
know, after meeting this woman, Ive concluded that its really not a
bad thing to be married to 5 different people, and to be living with a
6th. Furthermore, Ive come to the conclusion that Samaria is the true
place God is to be worshiped. It was the woman that was changed by
Jesus encounter, not Jesus. And she became an evangelist, going into
town and drawing out curious neighbors to meet Jesus.

One reason Jesus received this response was that Jesus did not begin his
conversation with her by saying You are a sinful woman, and I dont
want anything to do with you until you make a complete confession and
repent. Instead, Jesus drew her into a conversation, and saw her first
and foremost as a thirsty person in need of the living water God alone
can provide. In the past, Ive led some 40 Days of Purpose meetings
with men at Hope House. If the church proclaims to such men If youre a
drunk or a drug addict, youre a sinner, and God doesnt want anything
to do with you, there is little chance we will be able to touch their
lives in a positive way. But if we can instead think of them, like the
Samaritan woman at the well, as thirsty and needy people who have turned
in the wrong direction to have their thirsts satisfied, we can encourage
the outreach of places like Hope House, and lives may be redeemed.

Chad Thompson as a child had a physically present but emotionally
distant father, who showed periodic fits of rage when things didnt go
his fathers way. Chad wrote In response to his lack of emotional
stability, I never allowed myself to bond with him. My inability to
connect with my father left me spending most of my childhood relating to
my mother, the only emotionally safe person in the household. My
consequent over identification with her created in me a distaste for the
feminine that I have had to work at overcoming. (Thompson, Chad W.,
Loving Homosexuals As Jesus Would, Brazos Press, Baker Publishing, Grand
Rapids, 2004, p. 117) Chad concluded he had a homosexual orientation.

How would Jesus respond to a person like Chad? Would Jesus be like Fred
Phelps, the pastor in Kansas who has been in the news, who pickets at
the funerals of Iraq war casualties, carrying signs that say God hates
fags, and The Iraq War is Gods punishment on America because it
tolerates homosexuality? No! Would Jesus follow the Old Testament Law
and incite a mob to stone Chad to death? Not likely, because the OT Law
said that those caught in adultery could be stoned, and Jesus saved the
life of such a woman from the wrath of a mob. Jesus himself was the
victim of a mob calling out Crucify him. Give us Barabbas. I believe
Jesus would seek to develop a loving, caring relationship with Chad.
Jesus would be criticized for doing it, but no one who reads the gospels
can doubt that Jesus lacks courage, and that Jesus was willing to suffer
criticism!

In Chads book, Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would, he refers to John
Eldredges book, Wild At Heart. Eldredge invites men to recover their
masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. Eldredge
writes of how, at bedtime, after his boys have brushed their teeth and
said their prayers, one of them may ask Dad, can we snuggle tonight?
John would then cuddle up next to his sons, talk, sometimes tell
stories, or they would tickle one another. It is a time of intimacy,
closeness, connection--something not enough boys get from their fathers.
When Chad Thompson read this, he looked back over his own childhood and
the distance he experienced from his father, and wondered if things
might not have been different for him if hed had a father he could be
close to. (p. 120.)

Chad Thompson writes of his belief that homosexual orientation can be
transformed, and that he himself has experienced this transformation.
But he concludes the harsh way some churches respond to homosexuals is
not the way to go about it. Chad writes Many lesbian and gay people
need Christians to be hateful and ignorant in order to convince
themselves that our message is the result of ignorance, homophobia, or
some massive right-wing conspiracy. They know that, often, Christians
who show them love are doing it only so we can eventually talk them into
going straight. So we must show love to homosexuals regardless of
whether they want to change. (p. 35) Jesus didnt make his love
conditional upon other people changing first. Zacchaeus was a despised
tax collector. Jesus didnt say to Zacchaeus, Zach, if you promise to
give back all the money youve cheated people out of, Ill come to your
home for lunch. No, Jesus loved Zacchaeus and showed grace to him. In
response, Zacchaeus repented.

Jesus would get to know Chad, learn about his background, understand why
Chad had become what he was. But at that point, Jesus would not say
Chad, since you have suffered from a difficult family background, I no
longer have any moral expectations of you. Whatever you do is
understandable and all right with me. Instead, Jesus was constantly
presenting his listeners with a challenging ethic. He said not only
should we not commit adultery, but that if we even look at a woman with
lust, were committing adultery in our heart. Jesus challenged people to
love their enemies, and turn the other cheek. He said that whoever is
angry with a brother or sister is liable to judgment. Jesus remarked to
the disciples How hard it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of
heaven. The disciples asked with wonder Then who can be saved? Jesus
replied With man it is impossible, but with God, all things are
possible. Jesus consistently challenged people so that his hearers
would realize that none of us can ever be deemed good enough on our
own efforts to enter His presence. Our calling is to acknowledge our
flaws before God. And then to seek Gods Spirit to enter us, and
transform us as much as possible. It may not seem humanly possible for
us to enter the kingdom of heaven. But through Christs death and
resurrection, God presents a way!

In I Peter 4:8 we read Above all, maintain constant love for one
another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one
another without complaining. And as Paul wrote to the Colossians in
chapter 4, verses 5-6 Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders,
making the most of the time. Let your speech always be gracious...
Perhaps we worry too much as believers about our effectiveness, and not
enough about being faithful. When we dont seem to be effective, we
begin to press, to get angry, to condemn. Grace just doesnt seem to be
an effective strategy, we conclude. But lets remember the parable of
the mustard seed! God is able to bring about great things through humble
beginnings. Let us plant seeds of grace and truth, and rely upon God to
bring the growth!