"Family Matters" sermon

preached by Pastor David Layman

February 24, 2008

John 19:25 b-27, p, 114

Mark 3:31-35

We can safely venture that Jesus was very close to his mother, Mary, during his growing up years. It was a unique, one of a kind relationship. The only time in all history when a woman gave birth to a child conceived by the Holy Spirit! Mary had signed up for this unique mission as a young woman, saying to God's messenger "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." (Luke 1:38) Mary's relative Elizabeth confirmed the special responsibility she bore. The shepherds came to worship at Bethlehem, the magi brought gifts. They didn't have gift certificates in those days, so they brought gold, frankinsense and myrrh. When Jesus as an infant was dedicated in the temple, an old man named Simeon warned Mary that a sword would pierce her soul (Luke 2:35), foreshadowing Jesus' crucifixion.

It couldn't have been easy to have one child so special and different from the rest, who at the age of 12 already knew he "must be about his father's business", and Jesus wasn't speaking of a carpenter's shop and Joseph! Though we don't know much about Jesus' growing up years, we do know that when Jesus began his ministry at about the age of 30, Joseph is not mentioned in any of the gospels. It's safe to presume that Joseph had died, perhaps when Jesus was in his late teens. And Jesus as the eldest worked full time caring for his mother and younger siblings until they were grown. Only then did Jesus begin his itinerant ministry.

When Jesus was crucified, Mary, his mother, reappears. The Gospel of John, which is good at details that the other gospels might not include, notes that Mary, Mary's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene were standing there. Standing beside Jesus' mother was "the disciple whom he loved." This interesting phrase, "the disciple whom he loved", is presumed to be John, the younger brother of James. Jesus loved everyone, so we should take the phrase "the disciple whom Jesus loved" to mean there was a special connection and closeness between Jesus and John. We can presume that John may have been the youngest disciple. He beat Peter in a foot race to the tomb, and he was younger than James. Maybe John was still in his late teens. That would explain the tradition that John lived to a ripe old age and wrote Revelation during the time of persecution in the nineties. So we have Mary, the mother of Jesus, likely a teenager herself when Jesus was born. That would have made widowed Mary to be in her late forties at the time of Jesus' crucifixion. And young John, in his late teens, the only disciple known to be present at the crucifixion, standing beside Mary.

The Gospel of John tells us that from the cross, Jesus saw Mary and John standing beside her, and said to Mary "Woman, here is your son." Then he said to the disciple "Here is your mother." Governments in those days didn't offer Social Security and Medicare benefits. And even if they did, Mary wouldn't have been old enough to qualify! But Jesus was doing more than setting up a financial arrangement for his mother. He could see his mother's heart breaking, and his young friend John's heart breaking. What better way for broken hearts to mend than for these two people to share their grief and mutual concern and love with one another? And don't forget it wasn't just Mary's heart and John's hearts that were aching at that moment. It was Jesus' heart as well!

Isn't the hardest thing in life to see those you love suffering? I think many of us would say "I would rather undergo torture myself than watch those I love suffer and struggle!" It surely brought Jesus a measure of comfort to know that, while his earthly presence could no longer physically be there to encourage his mother, and close friend John, he could encourage them to comfort and sustain one another! The worst thing for a broken heart to do is to go off alone and nurse their wounds and sorrow. The best thing for a broken heart to do is to reach out to another broken heart! That's what support groups are all about!

That's also what the church is to be about! Jesus re-defined the family in his life and ministry. At one point in Jesus' ministry, his own flesh and blood seemed to believe the rumors that Jesus was possessed by an evil spirit instead of the Holy Spirit, that he may have become unbalanced. Mary and Jesus' brothers stood outside where he was teaching, and sent a message in to him, saying "Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you." Jesus , looking at those who had chosen to follow him, asked "Who are my mother and my brothers? Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother." Jesus redefined the family in his ministry, and continued that practice from the cross! Whoever does the will of God is his brother and sister and mother!

We have the opportunity to become part of the family of God! As it is, people come from all kinds of backgrounds to Christ. Some are orphans. Many are single. Some are widowed. The church is called to be the "body of Christ", the family of God. Some choose to be distant cousins, intentionally trying to maintain a distance because of a limited level of participation. Others enter fully into the family relationship.

I can think of an elderly couple who had no children. The church became their extended family. When they celebrated a special anniversary, they had a cake and invited the church family to participate. When one of them experienced a health challenge, church members were at the hospital, even travelling over to Indianapolis to be with them. When difficult decisions had to be made, the church family was there. I can think of a single man in another church who faithfully called on church members in the nursing home, especially those who had no one else to see them. This man had cared for his aged mother before her death. When she died, he extended the same care to others.

My mother had suffered strokes and faced limitations in her later years. I remember how good the women of Circle IV were to Mom. And the time when my mother had been dropped off at a doctor's appointment by FFC, but grew impatient at waiting for FFC to pick her up, and was going to walk across Chester Boulevard on her own and walk back. One of our church members worked in the office and insisted she drive her back instead. My mother was good about not wanting to bother me and do things on her own she shouldn't have tried. Another time, Mom was going to walk to a dentist's appointment by herself, and a church member saw her and insisted on driving her. Jesus said "Who are my mother and my brothers? Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother." It's wonderful to be part of a large and loving family! It's not just the Amish that look out for one another. Presbyterians do that as well, and since we drive cars, we can get there faster, too!

A therapist noted that most of her practice involved helping people get over the damage done to them by their own family. It's sad but true that our families of origin are not an undiluted blessing. Some families can really mess their family members up. Will Willimon served as chaplain at Duke for 20 years. One time when graduation had rolled around, he said to a graduating senior who had become very active in campus ministry "I want to meet your parents this weekend. Will they be at baccalaureate?" The young woman responded "I wouldn't advise that. My mother's really mad at you." Willimon responded "Me? Why in the world would your mother be mad at me?"

"She's undone that I'm thinking about going to work with the poor. I think she liked the old me that she once had better than the new me who's working with Jesus." (THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY, Abingdon Press, Nashville, 2006, p. 33) Some parents would be happier with a child that drank too much, lived with a significant other and was becoming a corporate lawyer, than was the designated driver, waited until marriage and was willing to sacrifice worldly success for reaching out to the needy. That's another reason we need the church, the new family that Christ began to create at the cross. Sometimes, the family ties our common faith engenders creates tension with those that think blood is stronger than Spirit.

The Spirit of Christ can bind people together with bonds that are stronger than any earthly family ties. And at the time of a health crisis or death is looming, as was the case with Jesus on the cross, it becomes a very emotional time. One sees very clearly what matters most. I'll never forget the day in 1984 when my father called and said my mother had suffered a brain aneurysm, and was in the Bloomington hospital, with only a 50/50 chance of living. Mom was only 69 at the time, and I remember the strong emotions of that time. I remember crying in the car on the drive down, praying that God would give me the opportunity one more time to tell my mother I loved her. I also remember needlessly fearing that the medical staff might not realize what a special person my mother was, and treating her as just another patient.

As it turned out, Jesus looked to young John to care for his mother, and I found a whole community of believers that wonderfully cared for both my mother and father. Church members frequently visited, upheld us in prayer, and brought food for dad (which is good, because he, like me, was never much of a cook!) The nurses were wonderful with mom, and even said they were praying for her. My mother regained consciousness, and after 6 weeks of hospitalization and surgery, was able to return home, a couple of days after our daughter Rachel Ruth was born.

Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother. Welcome to the family of God!"""

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